Dear Cheryl/Mei Mei (妹妹),
I had just finished a run I participated in on a Friday
night when I felt my phone ringing. It was your mummy, and I was concerned. She
had just been admitted into the hospital the day before, when your UPSR results
were released.
“Hello?” you croaked. I felt a mixture of elation and
concern. I hadn’t known how well you've performed yet.
“Hey Mei Mei!” I tried to be as cheerful and encouraging as
I could. It seemed at that point like
you needed that.
“I’m fine…um…” that hesitation in your voice started to
concern me. Your mummy said you cried rather badly in school that day. It can
only mean mediocre results, I thought.
“How did you do Mei Mei?” I asked with anticipation.
“I…I got 6As…”
I was dumbfounded. 6 out of 8. It was more than I would’ve
ever anticipated.
“That’s amazing, Mei Mei!”
“But…but…*sigh*…I was aiming for 7As…”
Your voice cracked, and so did my heart.
***
I see so much of how I was in you. How we tend to set high
bars of goals to strive towards, how we expect ourselves to perform
consistently, and how we’d unapologetically beat ourselves up if we fail to
achieve what we set out for. Trust me when I say that I had my fair share of
getting all worked up over not finishing at the top of my class in high school
or getting results that were nothing short of excellent. I’d go as far as say I
was even more intense than you are, in that I’d inadvertently turn every school
examination into an intense, ruthless battle, just to attain fickle,
superficial validation from everyone else, and prove that I had something to
offer.
Would I say that such an aggressive mentality helped in my
academic performance? Absolutely. But in hindsight I’m glad to know you don’t
adopt a mindset as aggressive as mine in your studies. I know you aim high, and
that’s really good. But life is so much more than just getting to the end
result. The journey that led you to this moment in time should be something
that you should instead have immense pride in. In the words of Hannah Montana
(-wink-), “ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side, it’s the climb”.
Do you remember earlier this year, how you were royally
struggling with mathematics? Struggling so much, that you decided that running
away from it all was a solution. Your mummy became concerned. We had
conversations and discussions over the phone over your situation, and it got to
a point where she just didn’t know what to do to help you out. You wept, and
she did too on the inside. It felt as if we were all taking a trip down to dark
ruins.
I refused to let it happen. I couldn’t and wouldn’t allow
it, especially when I have so much faith in my little half-sister, who
possesses an intelligence and maturity that is unique, precious and unparalleled
by most peers your age. I knew I had to at least talk to you and get to the
bottom of this.
I guess things escalated to a head in March when you fell
really ill on your way with mummy back to Penang. We rushed over to the hospital
that night, and my heart broke at how frail you looked lying on the large
hospital bed. Whatever happened, I knew it was more than mere physical exhaustion;
you must have endured an arduous period of indescribable distress. I was so
glad to see how your face lit up at the sight of both me and Da Ge. I’m happy
that our presence there meant that much to you.
While Da Ge was having a conversation of his own with the
mothers, I had the chance to take you out of the room for a bit and stroll
around within the complex. We talked. We laughed. We opened up. I knew at that
point you were as frustrated and concerned as everyone else would be about your
studies. I assured you that I’d be there to help, not just with any question
you had problems with, but also with your source of encouragement, motivation
and assurance that you’ll win this battle, whenever you felt like you needed
it.
Mei Mei, I want you to look at how far you’ve come in less
than a year. From a significant disparity in your subject results to a very
formidable 6As and 2Bs in UPSR. Just let that sink in for a moment. ;)
I know you wanted a 7A result, and you can be a little bit
upset about falling so slightly short of your end goal. But I want you to also
know that what’s even more amazing than a straight A’s result, is how you’ve
managed to pick yourself up after falling, and fought this war like the brave
little soldier you are. We’re proud of your 6As, and we’re even prouder with
your progress, your determination, your persistence, and the amount of fight we’ve
all witnessed in you during this six-month period. Life isn’t a pursuit of
constant excellence, but rather a journey where you strive to never stop
improving and becoming a better person than you were the day before.
And this is JUST the beginning, Mei Mei. You’ll have so many
more battles in life that you’ll have to fight. Sitting for major examinations
like PT3 (assuming it’s not abolished LOL) and SPM, assuming roles of
leadership in high school, making new friends, embarking on various journeys…those
battles won’t be easy either. So promise me, that you’ll never ever be
complacent, and that you’ll continue putting your best foot forward in anything
you undertake, alright?
And no matter what happens, straight A’s or not, you’ll
forever be the best little sister any big brother can ever ask for. I’m so
honoured to be able to call you my Mei Mei, and I hope you’ll never be shy to
call me if you ever need help with math questions in the future? :P
I love you to the moon and back, and I’m so proud of you. We
all are. J
Er Ge (二哥)
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| CNY 2014. |
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| I LOOK SO YOUNG AND CUTE HERE YAY (\O/) |
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| December 2015. My jaw looks disgustingly round. |
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| March 2016. Is it even legal for a person to look so angelic even when she's ill? <3 |
