I See You. Do You See Me?

I see you. I have since day one.

I saw an ease so intriguing the first time you stepped up and said ‘hello’. It was an entirely new environment. I was shy. I was afraid of how judgments would come pouring in as soon as I initiated these mandatory small talks. I couldn’t live with the thought of leaving a less-than-adequate first impression that could define how people looked at me from then on. Staying reserved was the way to go, I thought. Then you came up. And with that reserved smile of yours, you introduced yourself. And I saw you.

I see confidence. Not the arrogant or authoritarian kind, rather a sense of self-assurance and knowing what you want and going after it without insecurities and doubts holding you back. I see a fearlessness that was immensely admirable as you dove in head first to assume so heavy a responsibility this early into an academic session. I see a courageousness that so few possess in wanting to lead and manage an entire team. I see an eagerness in wanting to be a better person through actual steps and assumptions of responsibilities. And that made me want to contribute my part in helping things out. Because I see you wanting to become better, and that makes me want to be better, too.

I see that huge, alluring wide-eyed smile, and boy, if only I could annunciate just how much it would brighten up my day just by witnessing that piece of beauty. Beyond that, I see a genuine heart and an incredibly likeable personality that so many find heart-warming. I see a selflessness in always making everyone feel at ease and comfortable with being themselves, and by doing so in the most subtle yet significant manners. I frequently see so many people around you, every single one of them so happy to be in your company. Though that makes me a wee bit jealous, it just confirms how much of a sweetheart you really are. (Not to mention the fuzziness I feel everytime I see you easily outweighs that…)

I see an assertiveness that I do when it comes to getting assignments done spectacularly. I tend to be a bit of a control freak, and you admitted to being guilty of that too. I see a willingness to take charge and lead a team to the end goal of completing a task to the best of its abilities. I see an unapologetic manner in which you own up to that assertiveness and abide by the high standards you set for yourself. I see someone who believes in putting forth effort and dedication, and producing stellar work that you’d be proud to stand by. I see you as someone I look up to as a compatriot, and someone who’d inadvertently motivate me to do just that. I see you as someone I’m proud to call a competitor, one that would always make me strive constantly to be better, and to never be complacent. Just knowing that you’re there alongside me to give each other that occasional push or nudge to keep going…that means so much more than I’ll ever be able to describe.

I see you. Right in front of my eyes, or at the back of my mind. I see you. Do you?

Do you see how my heart melts a little and how I get a little flustered every time I see you approaching? Do you hear me yelling at myself internally to get my shit together and stay composed in your presence so often? Do you feel my heart go pitter-patter at the mere thought of you getting to see you, even for just a few seconds? Do you see how there are so many candies in one room, yet I’m always only able to fixate on one person, and one person only? Above all else, do you see all these little things I see in you that add up to be the captivating human being you are?

(Honestly, I’m not sure if I hope you do. I realize all of these sound *kinda* creepy. At any rate…)

I see you. I see you, like a shining star high up in the gorgeous night sky. I see you from down on the ground, so far-fetched and unattainable. I can’t hold you, caress you, and I’m scared to even attempt to get closer to you. I only see you from afar.

Yet, if things were to stay like this for eternity, I’d still stargaze every night, marvel at your beauty and forever stay amazed by it, with a huge, content grin plastered across my face.

I see you. Do you see me?